|...ask Guzzi Earl!!
a Guzzipower.com special Feature
|In order to
better serve the needs of Guzzi riders everywhere, Guzzipower.com
is pleased to announce our periodic [bad] advice column, Ask
Guzzi Earl. Guzzi Earl has been riding
Guzzis since you were a funny feelin' in your papa's pants. He lives
in a shack over yonder, wears denim overalls the size of a refrigerator
box, drinks his whiskey straight and has a Guzzi in his living room AND
his bathroom. Keep those inquiries comin' and hold onto your handlebars
for the responses. Disclaimer: follow the Guzzi Earl's advice at your own
risk. Especially after he's a sixer into Milwaukee's Best, after 2:00 PM
on any given weekday.
Please send all your relationship, financial, cooking, animal husbandry and Moto Guzzi related questions to email@example.com and then brace yourself for the answers. Special Note: You can receive *good* mechanical advice from either our technical reports or our technical message board. All requests for advice from Guzzi Earl are fair game for whatever comes to his [warped] mind at that specific moment in time...
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From: Danny <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Dear Mr Surly Mechanic,
I'm thinking about getting a motorbike, but I've heard that motorbike tyres cost an arm and a leg. Just wondering if I can put car tyres onto a bike instead, when the bike tyres wear out. You see, I can get cheap car tyres, and they have a nice hard tread compound, so they'll last a really long time. Is this a good idea?
YES, TYRES CAN COST AN ARYM AND A LEYG SO BE CAREFUL IN YOUR SELECTION. I PREFER MY TIRES TO BE BLACK AND THEY SHOULD ALSE BE ROUND. OH AND I PREFER THAT THEY HOLD AIR, TOO. GOO LUCK IN YOUR QUEST FOR A MOTORBIKE AND I HOPE THAT IT DOESN’T DETRACT FROM YOUR BEANIE BABY COLLECTING OR YOUR DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS QUEST.
From: Scott Strait <scotts@holm***.com>
To: "'email@example.com'" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I'm looking at buying my first Guzzi and found one with no motor/tranny. It is a 1969 Civilian model, normally a 750. How big of a Guzzi motor can I stick in this frame?
I WOULD RECOMMEND PUTTING IN A REALLY BIG MOTOR. I MEAN REALLY BIG. YEAH, REALLY REALLY BIG. BIG LIKE A MANURE TRUCK MOTOR. OR M AYBE LIKE A JET AIRPLANE MOTOR OR ONE FROM A MONSTER TRUCK. THEN WHEN YOU RIDE IT TO BIKE NIGHT ALL THE OTHER BIKERS IN THE SEVEN-ELEVEN PARKING LOT WILL THINK YOU ARE THE KING AND GIVE YOU HIGH FIVES AND ASK FOR YOUR MOTORCYCLE CONTRUCTION TIPS.
From: Robert Roller <email@example.com>
Subject: 1986 V65 Lario
I have the opportunity to purchase an '86 V65 Lario, 20,000 miles original owner, complete bike, hasn't been 'hacked on' by previous 'brain dead mechanically disinclined' owners .
Cam shaft and valves were replaced when the bike was purchased .
Any problem areas, or chronic problems with this bike ?
I'm unfamiliar with Guzzi's, I've only owned a BMW R65 for the last 28 years .
Any information would be helpful .
ASking price is $3500 .
I KNEW A BOB ROLLER IN KALAMAZOO…HED ROLL THEM UP IN CARPETS AND DROP THEM OFF AT THE BUS STATION AND WE’D NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. THOSE WERE THE GLORY YEARS, THOUGH, AND WE HAD LOTS OF WILD TIMES. I WOULD RECOMMEND TAKING YOUR LARIO INTO A SERVICE STATION AND ASKING THE MECHANIC THERE WHAT HE THINKS. THERE IS A GOOD SHELL STATION AT THE END OF MY ROAD, AND THE MECHANIC THERE IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE AND WE HAVE SHARED MANY A CAPRI SUN DRINK PACK OVER THE YEARS. I WOULD ASK HIM WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT SUCH A FINE MACHINE.
--- On Tue, 8/19/08, Adam Kuhlman <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
From: Adam Kuhlman <email@example.com>
Subject: sp 65 drinks oil
Hello Earl again,
On these SP65 's there is a lot of pollution spaghetti, which we believe complicates it ability to run properly. Do you know if any of it could be disconnected without affecting its running, if there is gas tank charcoal collector , that could go ?
Thanks again, Adam
My Dad and i were talking, and if oil mist from the crankcase is ending up in the carbs , maybe there is a broken ring or something creating the extra pressure needed to push oil to the carbs. ??
I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND SERVING SPAGHETTI WITH CHARCOAL. INSTEAD, I LIKE A NICE MAINARA SAUCE WITH A SIDE OF GRITS AND MAYBE A NICE RASPBERRY SNO CONE FROM THE KWICKY MART FOR DESERT. THE KWICKEE MART HAS MANY FINE PRODUCTS THAT WILL COMPLEMENT YOUR GOURMET DINNER EXQUISITELY. I ONCE COKED DINNER FOR MY GIRL FRIEND MATILDA USING ONLY PRODUCTS FROM THE KWICKEEY MART. SHE ENJOYED VERY MUCH THE SLIM JIM STEW WITH RUFFLES MASHED POTATO CHIPS WITH THREE MUSKATEERS BAR SAUCE. AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT SHE TOLD ME.
Kia Ora Guzzi Earl
I am about to repeat on of my best ever rides after the Paeroa street races, I rode down the east coast of the North island of New Zealand and had the chance to ride through the Waioeka Gorge between Opotiki and Gisbourne. It was early morning and I came across a gang of road workers who invited me to share their morning tea. I said to the chap with the stop/go board that I had nothing to share with them. so here is my dilemma do you have any good recipes for such an occasion.
keep on keeping on
I LIKE DIRT-TEA OR SPECIAL-TEA OR WHEN THER IS NOTHING ELSE, NECESSE-TEA OR SOMETIMES WHEN IM FEELING FRISKY EVEN A LITTLE NAUGHT-TEA.
|Guzzi Earl loves his ebay.
Along with shopping for fine Spice Girls and Beanie Babies products, he gets to browse for Guzzi performance parts!
--- On Mon, 8/4/08, mark onopiuk <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
> I have an "07" Breva 1100. When I fill my fuel tank, the gauge only goes to 1/8 or 3/4 >full. Also, after a couple of miles after it hit's 1/4, it goes straight to the bottom, but the >low fuel light doesn't come on. Are you familiar with this problem? Thanks, Mark
I NEVER WAS GOOD AT FRACTIONS. I GUESS I SHOULDA PAID MORE ATTENTION IN MISS APPLEHOOFER’S 4TH GRADE CLASS, SO I HAD TO GAIN MOST OF MY EDUCATION FROM THE OLD READERS DIGEST THAT I WOULD FIND IN THE TRUCK STOP BATHROOMS. YOU FIND THE DARNDEST THINGS IN THERE, LEMME TELL YOU. ONE TIME, I FOUND A SOLID GOLD PLATED BELT BUCKLE IN THE SHAPE OF DAVID ALLEN COE. ANOTHER TIME, I FOUND A PAIR OF NICE ADDIDAS HIGH TOPS AND THEY FIT REAL NICE AND LOOK GOOD WITH MY OVERALLS WHICH I WEAR AROUND THE TRUCK STOP WITH NO SHIRT ON UNDERNEATH. I GOTTA STOP DOING THAT BECAUSE IT CHAFES MY NIPPLES - ALL THREE OF THEM.
YOUR GUZZI FRIEND,
--- On Mon, 8/18/08, Adam Kuhlman <email@example.com> wrote:
> My dad has a 1986 guzzi SP 65 , up to this point it
> was running perfect. It has only 1700 mi on it. He was out
> riding it last week and on the road it started blowing smoke
> an spitting oil and miss firing. When he stopped there was
> oil on the rear tire . He towed it home and it lost 2 qts.
> of oil, did a finger check of compression in the spark plug
> hole [was pressure] , separated the carbs and noticed that
> it looked like the oil was getting in thru the intakes and
> into the engine. But only one side, the rt side. He took a
> look into the air box under the tank and it looks as if the
> oil got into the back half somehow. But couldn't see how
> that could of happened. Do you have any ideas ?
>Thanks again, Adam Kuhlman [ Ohio ]
OH, YEAH, I HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS. HOW ABOUT A CROSS BETWEEN A CAT AND A POODLE- YOU COULD CALL IT A “COODLE”. HERE’S ANOTHER IDEA- WHY DO YOU DRIVE DOWN A PARK WAY AND PARK IN A DRIVEWAY? I WAS UP ALL NIGHT LAST NIGHT WORKIN THAT ONE OUT. I ALSO HAD AN IDEA FOR TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF THE ROLLER DOGS AT MY EMPLOYER, THE KWICKY MART. THIS DEVICE KEEPS THE DOGS MOIST AND THUS AVOIDS “WRINKLED WEENIE” SYNDROME. I ADAPTED IT FROM THE AUTOMATIC CHAIN OILER ON MY YZ250. DON’T WORRY- I WASHED IT OUT WITH CARB CLEANER REAL GOOD BEFORE I USED IT. THE KWICKY MART ASSISTANT MANANGER WAS VERY IMPRESSED AND HE EVEN SIGNED OFF ON THE PATENT APPLICATION, SO I EXPECT A MAJOR WINDFALL FROM MY DESIGN AS SOON AS WE CAN GET THE STORE MANAGER TO SIGN OFF ON IT. YEAH, I’M FULL OF IDEAS, THAT’S FOR SURE.
YOUR GUZZI BUD,
|Guzzi Earl has been cruisng Ebay again...|